


What If's & Snapshots.

by OddlyBookish



Series: Bean's Universe. [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:28:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22358752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OddlyBookish/pseuds/OddlyBookish
Summary: A set of fic's taking place in the universe in which Andrew and Neil have their little bean.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Bean's Universe. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1609474
Comments: 33
Kudos: 160





	1. Andrew Had Stayed.

Neil had been avoiding Andrew for a while. 

Every message Andrew sent went unanswered and he hated it.

Andrew wasn't sure when he became so attached to Neil Josten. Sometime between the many nights spent together and all the random conversations had during late nights.

He tried not to think about it too much, Neil and he were nothing, not really, but he still felt slightly miffed by the fact that Neil was ignoring him so actively. He tried not to think about it too much, he had no claim over Neil, but his mind brought the snarky redhead back to his head often.

Andrew left the hotel room feeling less tense but not clear-headed by any means, he could smell the Beta's scent clinging to his skin but tried to ignore it as he headed towards the nearest store to buy some cigarettes. 

He smoked a cigarette by his car, glancing up at the sky and trying to put his emotions into check when he remembers it was his turn to take dessert for the weekly dinner the following day. He sighs as he puts out the cigarette and starts to head back inside, figuring a store-bought cake would have to do. Andrew pulls out his phone and frowns when he spots that once again Neil had ignored his message.

He lights a cigarette quickly, craving more nicotine, before hanging it in between his lips as his fingers start to type out a message when he bumps into someone causing him to step back and glance up, meeting pretty blue eyes in an instant.

"Andrew."

"Neil." Andrew stays silent as Neil steps back slowly.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking." He mutters, Andrew raises a brow but simply shrugs before he notices Neil smells different. His immediate instinct is to protect, a strong urge to pull Neil closer and not let him out of his sight.

"You smell different." He states honestly, trying to figure out where he's smelled that particular scent and who it belongs to. He can rule out his immediate family pretty quickly, but the thought of someone close enough to Neil that they leave there scent behind doesn't sit well with Andrew. Hypocritical he knows.

"New soap." Neil mutters as he sticks his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, Andrew knows it's a lie the second Neil glances down, never being able to look Andrew in the eye when he lies to him.

"You've been avoiding me." Andrew states deciding to jump straight to the point.

"Yeah..." 

"Was it something I did?" Andrew asks because he needs to know if he had messed up and needs to know if he can fix it.

"I'm pregnant." Neil states after a few seconds, Andrew blinks and drops his cigarette, his mind in a sudden blur of thoughts. The familiar scent makes sense suddenly, along with Neil's avoidance.

Andrew notices when Neil tries to step back, can see the tears building causing him to move quickly grabbing onto Neil's arm to hold him back.

"Are you sure?" He finds himself asking as he pulls Neil forward. Neil nods and Andrew can't help but pull Neil into his arms. Neil relaxes, slumping into Andrew instantly, he shakes with silent sobs as Andrew hugs him tightly.

There's a whirl of emotions building, nervousness, and fear the most prominent. A sense of completion and love very close behind.

Neil pulls back slightly and meets his eyes causing Andrew to move, guiding him to his car, wanting to take him home and hold him until his eyes no longer hold the same uncertainness they do now.

Neil goes willingly, the two of them stay silent as Andrew drives them towards Andrew's place but Andrew can see as Neil twists his fingers and holds onto the material of his hoodie.

"I'm sorry." Neil mutters after Andrew lets him into the apartment. Neil glances at him with fresh tears in his eyes causing Andrew to quickly shake his head and wipe away shed tears.

"Hey, it's not your fault-"

"We never talked about this Drew, this was never supposed to happen I-"

"I love you, alright, I know we walked into this without any sort of expectations but I love you and I will be by your side the entire time do you understand me Neil?"

Neil moves quickly, pressing his lips against Andrew's with a strong sense of urgency. Andrew kisses him back, pulling him closer in the process before pulling back pressing his forehead against Neil's.

"How long have you known?" He asks.

"I found out last month." Neil mutters, glancing down quickly despite the fact that Andrew ran a hand through his curls in an attempt to reassure him.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Andrew asks calmly, the Omega shrugs slightly, fingers starting to play with the hem of his shirt once more.

"I was scared you wouldn't want this." Neil states honestly. Andrew thinks back to the brief moment of hesitation before he had pulled Neil closer, wondering if he would have been able to push the younger Omega away before deciding he would have regretted it instantly.

He decides not to say anything, not quite sure how to put his emotions into words and instead pulls Neil back in. They stay silent, both in their own heads until Neil yawns audibly causing Andrew to pull back and push him towards his room. Neil goes without protest, changes silently into the clothes Andrew throws his way and lays down while trying to cover a yawn.

Andrew lays down next to him and slings a hand over his waist to pull him closer, instinct wanting Neil closer. He presses a kiss onto Neil's shoulder and closes his eyes, feeling more relaxed than he has all week.

Andrew wakes up to the sound of someone puking their guts up, Neil's side of the bed empty and cold. It's all to similar to countless nights spent making sure Kevin, Aaron, and Nicky didn't choke on their own vomit.

He finds Neil hunched over the toilet, hears him take a shaky breath before he's puking once more. Andrew runs a hand down Neil's back, sits at his side until Neil stops puking and stays still as Neil leans back against him.

"Kevin's going to be pissed." He tells Neil who chuckles.

"Nicky will be ecstatic." Neil mutters causing Andrew to groan already knowing his cousin would be unbearable.

"Have you told Wymack?" Andrew asks. Neil nods.

"Allison and Abby are the only other people who know." Andrew's slightly annoyed that Allison knew before he did. Knows that Renee probably knew by this point considering the weird way she kept asking about Neil lately.

"Guess we'll have to tell the three musketeers soon." Andrew mutters. Neil nods and then leans over to flush the toilet which Andrew takes as a sign to move.  
It was Friday, meaning it would be their weekly dinner at Abby and David's place.

"We can tell them tonight." Andrew tells Neil as Neil rinses out his mouth.

"Aaron won't like it." Neil mumbles as he dries his hands and turns to face Andrew.

"Aaron doesn't have a say." Andrew reminds the Omega yet Neil still frowns and glances down at his feet.

"I can tell them tonight if you want, you don't have to be there for the initial reactions." Neil visibly relaxes which Andrew takes as his answer. He makes breakfast, Neil only taking a cup of juice and some plain toast, and the two spend the day curled up together watching TV until dinner time approaches.

"You didn't tell me you moved." Andrew mutters after he walks Neil to his new apartment door.

"I figured we'd need a bigger space." Neil states as he unlocks the door. Andrew follows him in, slightly shocked at how big the place was despite its small appearance. It was a definite step up from Neil's old place which was barely an apartment.

Neil glanced at him quickly, smiles as he drops his keys onto the counter before he glances at the clock.

"You'll be late." Neil tells him. Andrew shrugs but moves forward anyway, kissing him quickly before pulling back.

"Call me." Neil mutters earning him a nod in response.

Andrew heads to Abby and David's house, store-bought cake sitting in the passengers' seat, and focuses on Neil. On the thought of Neil and his kid in hopes it'd get him through what could be his worst family meal yet.

He doesn't say anything during dinner, waits until Abby asks how their week is going, starting with Nicky as always and ending with Andrew.

"I'm having a kid." He tells them seriously before taking a bite of his chocolate cake. David and Abby don't react, which is unsurprising considering they knew before Andrew.

"You idiots." Kevin mutters as he stabs at his piece of cake, brows scrunched disapprovingly. Nicky lets out a screech of what Andrew presumes is excitement while Aaron meets his brother's gaze with a single raised brow.

"A baby!" Nicky shouts excitedly.

"Neil's about two months in."

"Ten weeks." Abby corrects causing heads to turn her way.

"Patient doctor confidentiality." She states as she continues to eat her chocolate cake.

"Oh my God, a little Andrew!" 

"What happened to casual?" Aaron asks earning him a scoff from David who rolled his eyes before glancing at Andrew.

"Congrats, tell Josten he's benched until he's had the kid and find out when I can tell the rest of the team."

"He can't have a kid he's only two years into his contract!" Kevin exclaims.

"Kevin." Abby warns.

"I told you this was a bad idea." Kevin snaps ignoring his stepmothers' warning. Andrew glares and leans forward causing Kevin to shrink back.

"Is it inconvenient, yes. Was it planned? No, but regardless it's happening and I don't need you telling this shit to Neil. He's freaked out as is." Andrew tells Kevin who frowns and crosses his arms like an annoying child. Nicky shrieks once more causing Andrew to sigh and glance his way.

"Do you think it'll have Neil's baby blues?" He asks in awe, hands cupping his own cheeks. Andrew sighs but he can't say the image hasn't popped into his head since finding out Neil was having a kid. Neil's pretty blue eyes have always been a weakness for Andrew.

"Do you really think this is going to work?" Aaron asks suddenly.

"Come on Andrew, your both pro players how are you supposed to raise a kid?" Aaron snaps.

"Aaron." Abby chides with a frown.

"I'm not doing this right now." Andrew mutters as he stands up.

"Andrew."

Andrew ignores Abby's protest as he hugs her quickly, patting David and Nicky on the shoulders as he leaves. He pretends not to notice Aaron's eyes tracking him as he heads towards the door and finds himself parked outside Neil's new apartment complex in no time.

Neil opens with sleepy eyes and sleep rumpled clothes, raises a brow but says nothing as he pulls Andrew through the door and towards the bedroom. Neil doesn't question him as he slips under the covers turns to tuck himself against Andrew when he joins him, the two of them drifting off to sleep easily.

He wakes up to a loud knocking on the front door, Neil groans and attempts to hide into the crock of Andrew's neck. Andrew is half tempted to the ignore the knocking and hold Neil close but there's an instinct to protect so he untangles himself from Neil's hold.

"Do you know how hard it was to find this place?" Kevin asks the second Andrew opens the door, Nicky bouncing on his heels excitedly behind the taller Alpha.

"I had to bargain with Allison for the stupid address." Kevin snaps as Andrew steps to the side to let him in. By now Neil was up and standing in the hallway, rubbing at his eyes and bundled in Andrew's hoodie from last night.

"Why didn't you tell me!?!" Nicky shouts as soon as he spots the Omega before he rushes forward throwing his arms out to hug Neil tightly.

"Nicky." Andrew warns when he spots Neil tense up. Nicky lets go quickly at the tone of Andrew's voice but Neil sports a small smile relaxing Andrew a bit.

"Do you own any green vegetables?" Kevin asks from the kitchen.

"Kevin get out of the fridge." Andrew snaps as he heads towards the kitchen. Kevin already has a pile of food on the counter and somehow has acquired a notepad and pen which he's currently writing in.

"Kevin."

"He needs to eat healthy." Kevin states simply. He can feel Neil step up behind him and turns his head to watch Neil take in the scene.

"The brownies are healthy." Neil states.

"You don't like sweets." 

"The baby does." Kevin frowns but moves the brownie bites back into the fridge which causes a smile to form on Neil's face.

"Oh, the baby! I hope it's a little girl, the team has such cute baby clothes." Nicky states.

"No, this baby will not be an exy posterboard." Andrew tells his cousin who frowns slightly. Kevin pushes a piece of paper towards Andrew with his brothers' familiar handwriting on the top.

"Aaron and Abby recommended some things and I've written anything I can see missing." Andrew raises a brow but glances over the items with a sigh knowing Kevin would be on his ass if he didn't force Neil to eat healthy the next few months.

"And I better not smell a whiff of smoke on you Andrew." Nicky shouts from the living room where Andrew can hear the TV playing. 

Before Andrew can reply the blender starts up causing Neil to flinch from his side and earning Kevin a glare which he ignores in favor of staring at the blending smoothie.

"Drew." Neil mutters lowly, Andrew catches the look in his eyes and moves, quickly shutting the blender off and grabbing Kevin's wrist.

"All right, out." Andrew snaps.

"But I'm not-"

"Don't care out, you too Nicky." Kevin opens his mouth to argue but seems to catch on to Andrew's anger and quickly shuts up.

"Let's go Nick!" The TV shuts off before Nicky reappears with a frown on his face, he looks like he's about to say something but Kevin is pulling him out of the apartment before he has a chance.

Andrew waste's no time pulling Neil into his arms. Neil whines lowly causing Andrew to attempt to pull the Omega closer.

"It was too much." Neil explains softly. Andrew understands, knows how both Nicky and Kevin could be extreme in their own way.

"We can lay back down." Andrew offers and he half expects Neil to turn him down but he nods quickly.

Neil relaxes instantly once he's laying in bed by Andrew's side. Andrew runs a hand through Neil's hair absent-mindedly and holds him close, says nothing as Neil lays his head on Andrew's chest.

"Wymack is going to tell the team tomorrow." Neil mutters.

"Yeah, I have to go apparently."

"Sucks." Neil mumbles. Andrew rolls his eyes and pinches Neil softly earning him a laugh as Neil tried to squirm away.

"Bet your pissed you'll be benched." Andrew states as Neil settles down. Neil groans before looking at him with a small smile.

"A little, bet it's worth it though." Andrew nods and sighs as Neil lays his head back onto his chest.

Andrew pulls Neil closer, lets out a sigh as he closes his eyes and knows they would be okay.


	2. Bean Gets Sick.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title sums it up, just some cute fluff with Andrew, Neil and little Bean with Aaron playing Doctor.

Neil woke up to the sound of someone shrieking. 

He's a quick riser, and the sound of his son's cries has him up in a matter of seconds. Andrew is starting to move from his side but seems to notice Neil is up and lays back down as Neil heads towards the nursery.

Joseph is standing up in his crib, crying loudly with tears rolling down his cheeks. He spots Neil instantly and holds out his hands in a silent command to be lifted up.

"Dada, Da, Dada." Joseph cries as Neil lifts him out of the crib and wraps him in his arms.

"It's okay Bean, you're okay." Neil bounces his son while running a hand through his curls, pausing momentarily when Joseph presses his face into the crook of his neck. He presses a hand against his son's cheek and curses lightly at the warmth radiating from it.

"Oh, it's alright baby, we'll get you all fixed up okay?" Joseph whines in response, Neil's heart clenching at the sound as he presses a kiss against auburn curls and heads towards the Master Bedroom.

"Drew, Bean's sick." He states as he continues to rock his son, trying to lessen the small cries. Andrew is up quickly, squinting at the pair for a second before crossing the room and pushing Joseph's hair back, pressing his hand against his son's forehead. He's already dialing his brothers' number by the time he's standing at Neil's side.

"Jesus Christ Andrew, do you not know what time it is?" Aaron asks, voice still mumbles obviously woken up from his night sleep.

"Joseph's sick." He states in lieu of an answer.

"What are his symptoms?" Aaron asks instantly, seeming more awake.

"He's hot to the touch, he's just crying and seems to be running a fever." Andrew explains as he smiles at his son who was watching him intently, tears still running down his pink cheeks.

"I'm on my way over, just try to keep him calm, he'll puke if he keeps crying." Aaron hangs up before Andrew can tell him it's not necessary. Andrew sighs and throws his phone onto the bed, continues to run his hand through Joseph's hair as Neil rocks him back and forth in a soothing motion.

Joseph quiets down after a few minutes of loud crying, pausing as he lifts his head away from Neil's neck and rubs at his eyes.

"Uncle Aaron's on his way okay bub, you'll feel much better soon." Neil tells his son who hiccups before puking all over Neil's shirt and continuing to cry loudly. Andrew snorts and moves to take his son, grimacing slightly when he hides his face into the crook of Andrew's neck, leaving vomit infused drool in its wake.

Neil pulls his shirt off in one fluid movement, Andrew can spot the healing scar at the bottom of his abdomen from where they had to cut, before heading to the restroom with it in hand and returning with it damp in his hands. Neil manages to coax Joseph out from his hiding spot and starts to wipe away any vomit remains by the time the doorbell to the apartment rings loudly. 

Andrew hands his son back over to Neil and heads to make sure it's his brother, smirking slightly when he spots Aaron still in pajamas, with bunny slippers on his feet.

"I was in a hurry." Aaron snaps when he spots his brother before pushing past him and heading straight towards Neil and Joseph.

"Hey Eli, how you feeling buddy?" Andrew rolls his eyes at his brothers' tone but stays silent as he watches Aaron pull out a thermometer and press it against his son's forehead.

"It's not emergency level, I brought some medicine that should bring it back down." Aaron explains as he rummages through a plastic pharmacy bag and pulls out some liquid pain reliever.

Neil has to rearrange Joseph in his arms so he'd be facing outward and able to be fed the medication. Aaron spoons some medication into his mouth causing the young boy to grimace and rub at his mouth at the taste.

"Sorry buddy." Aaron apologizes with a smile as before holding up the bottle Andrew had filled with the Gatorade Aaron had brought along.

Joseph eyes the bottle skeptically before reaching for it, Aaron hands it over easily and Joseph grips it between small hands and manages to bring it up towards his mouth. Neil holds the bottom of the bottle to try to help his son.

"Here, let me take him, I never get to see him." Aaron states as he reaches for his nephew. Neil hands him over easily, trusting Aaron which was something he never thought he'd ever do.

"Well, maybe you should take up our requests to babysit more often." Andrew tells his brother. Neil rolls his eyes at the Alpha's words but knows he's only joking. Aaron had been promoted to the head of the Trauma Department and was almost always busy at work, he had no time to watch Joseph while Andrew and Neil played, Abby and Betsy had become their go-to babysitters when needed.

Andrew was already brewing some coffee when Neil goes to check the kitchen for him, he glances up when he hears Neil and holds a hand out his way. Neil grabs his arm and lets himself be pulled into the Alpha's arms, laying his head on the blonde's shoulder.

"I don't like seeing him sick." Neil admits lowly. Andrew squeezes his shoulders as he nods in agreement.

"I know, but he's okay." Andrew states, but he knows how hard it is to see his son be sick and not be able to do anything to help. He'd had to watch him through the plastic of an incubator and had to watch as they pumped him full of antibiotics when he got a respiratory infection only a month after coming home.

The two stay still, Neil tucked into Andrew's arms until the coffee pot beeps, signaling the end of the brewing cycle. Neil sighs but pulls away from Andrew's arms in order to grab the three mugs for coffee.

He pours coffee into each mug before taking out the flavored creamer for Andrew and Aaron and calling out to Aaron. Aaron enters the kitchen with a sleeping Joseph in his arms.

"I can set him down if you guys want." Aaron offers, Andrew nods and Aaron smiles before he disappears as Andrew starts to prepare his coffee, pouring way too much creamer into the beverage. Neil grimaces at the sight but continues to sip his coffee as Andrew mixes in his creamer.

Aaron reappears and takes his cup of coffee and adds a relatively normal amount of creamer into his cup.

"Thank you for coming." Neil tells Aaron who chuckles.

"I'd never leave my favorite nephew with you two hopeless idiots." Aaron states firmly causing Andrew to throw the dishtowel his way. Aaron smirks slightly as Neil rolls his eyes and raises a brow Aaron's way.

"How's the thing with that Doctor going?" He asks causing Aaron to actually smile with respect to the new Pediatric Doctor he'd been on a few dates with.  
"She's great, she was apparently a cheerleader all through college." Aaron states with a grin.

"Gross." Andrew mutters earning him an elbow in the ribs while Neil smiled as if he hadn't been the culprit.

"You're gross." Aaron mumbles back causing Neil to sigh and stand straight.

"I'm heading back to bed, thanks Aaron, next time I'll try not to be as useless." Neil jokes as he leaves up the stairs. Andrew watches him leave for a few seconds until Aaron kicks his leg.

"You did good, coming back to them." Aaron states.

"I never wanted to leave." Andrew tells his brother truthfully. They finish their coffee's before calling it a night, Aaron taking the guest room as Andrew goes to join his mate, the baby monitor turned back on.

He wakes up a few hours later, Neil no longer at his side, he groans as he pulls himself up, glad it's Saturday and he had no practice for the day.

Andrew finds Neil in the kitchen with Joseph in hand, he's preparing a coffee pot as Joseph lays his head on his shoulder, the bottle filled with what looks to be Gatorade in his hands. Andrew steps up behind Neil, wraps an arm around his waist to pull him back against his chest.

"Morning." Neil mutters, Andrew hums and lays his head on his shoulder, opposite of the one Joseph is occupying. He can meet eyes with his son who looks at him blankly while drinking from his bottle causing Andrew to chuckle slightly before lifting his head. He kisses Neil quickly, before dropping a kiss on Joseph's forehead.

"Gross, get a room." Aaron's voice calls from behind them.

"You're still here?" Andrew asks his brother as he pulls back, hands still on Neil's waist.

"You're welcome." Aaron mutters as he walks around the two in order to serve himself some coffee. Neil laughs and steps away from Andrew's arms, kissing Josephs' cheek in the process while he moves to grab some baby food from the fridge.

He sets Joseph down in the baby seat, grabbing the small container of homemade baby food Kevin had forced them to start making.

He takes the mug of coffee from Andrew and places it on the counter at his side as he starts spoon-feeding Joseph, hoping he'd keep it down now that the fever had broke. He glances up and catches Andrew shoving his brother's shoulder causing him to smile.

"Here comes the airplane." He sings as he lifts the spoon up and pretends to fly it into Joseph's mouth, smiling when Joseph giggles brightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next part to the What-If scenario is in the works, hold tight guys and let me know what type of snapshots you'd like to see.


	3. Neil had died.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First part of the What If scenarios. Sorry in advance.

Andrew Minyard woke up to the sound of a flat line a week after Joseph was born.

It took him a few moments to realize what was wrong, a few moments to understand what the noise filling the otherwise silent room truly was.

The moment he realizes what was wrong is the moment his heart drops. He moves quickly and by the time he's scrambling to reach Neil's bed the room is filled with Doctors and nurses, Aaron wasn't among them.

Andrew tries to move toward the Omega who lay motionless in the bed only to be pulled back by some nurses. Andrew struggles against them as he watches Neil be laid down flat on the bed, nurses and doctors moving in a blur as they bring a crash cart in.

Andrew knows he's saying something, screaming something, can feel the strain in his throat but his ears only hear static.

He feels his fist connect with flesh, watches as the Doctors bring paddles down on Neil's bare chest as he feels a prick in his neck. He fights the sense of numbness that is overcoming, trying to stay awake as he tries to move but is soon taken under, the world tumbling to black.

Andrew wakes up again what feels like moments later, laying in a bed with the sun shinning through the window, Andrew knows in his heart that the sun was tricking him, knows that the day will be anything but shinny and warm.

Kevin sits in the chair by his bed, leaning forward with his palms pressed against his eyes that Andrew knows is an attempt to stop the tears.

"He's dead isn't he." It's a statement, not a question, because Andrew knows, he feels it in his heart. 

Kevin chokes on a sob, runs a hand through his messy hair and looks Andrew's way with bloodshot eyes.

"They couldn't save him." He states before closing his eyes and leaning all the way back, until his head laid on the back of the seat.

"They couldn't save him." He repeats as fresh tears start to roll down his cheeks. Andrew's heart hurts, it feels like someone is sitting on his chest as he sits in his bed staring at the blank wall in front of him.

Aaron enters the room, eyes widening a fraction when he notices his brothers awake. 

"Any nausea?" Aaron asks in lieu of a greeting.

"What happened?" Andrew asks instead of answering his brothers question. Aaron swallows, forces his eyes away from the monitors at Andrews side in order to look him in the eye.

"Blood clot, it must have formed after the surgery, it got to his heart last night there was nothing we could do." Aaron states firmly, voice monotone. Andrew ignores the flat tone to his brothers voice and the tired look in his eyes, wonders if he was silently relived Neil was gone.

"You should be released soon, along with Eli." Aaron states lowly, he shifts on his feet looking nervous before sighing.

"They'll bring Eli down soon, he's been rowdy all night." Aaron tells Andrew before he leaves. Andrew stays silent as he waits, sits up a bit once the nurse pushes Joseph's cot into the room. 

Joseph is crying loudly even as the nurse maneuvers him out of the cot and into Andrew's arms but he quickly quiets down once he's in his fathers arms. Andrew runs a hand through Josephs red curls, feels his heart clench at the sight and wonders if Joseph some how knows Neil is dead.

Joseph looks up at him with tear stained cheeks and a red blotchy face causing Andrew to pull him closer as if he could protect him from the world. Protect him from the pain of losing Neil before he ever got to meet him.

The next few days pass in a blur, Andrew isn't sure how he makes it through the funeral plans or through the funeral itself. It's a blur, people offering him condolences as if they mean anything, everyone trying to reassure him he'd be okay, cameras and reporters keeping their distance but always present.

They bury Neil in to the ground three days after he dies, Joseph sleeps the entire time in the baby carrier by Andrews feet.

The days continue to pass, and Andrew focuses on his son, on making sure his son is okay. The world feels dull and void without Neil but Joseph keeps him occupied.

"Training starts tomorrow." Kevin tells him a few weeks later, once Neil Josten is no longer on the front page and his death is no longer the most talked about thing in Exy sport news.

"So?" Joseph continues to eat from the bottle greedily, eyes focused on Andrew as he does so.

"So you need a job to take care of Joseph." Andrew glances at Kevin, notices the dark bags under his eyes and scoffs.

"What? Finally figured you won't win without your star Striker?"

"Fuck you." Kevin snaps, voice thick. Andrew doesn't say anything, stays silent as he maneuvers Joseph so he could lay him on his shoulder and burp him.

"He was my friend Andrew! He wasn't just a team mate or your fuck buddy-"

"He was more than that." Andrew snaps back.

"Yeah, well hell of a why you had of showing it." They stay silent as Andrew bounces Joseph in an attempt to get him to sleep while Kevin glances at one of the only photos of Neil that was in display in Andrew's apartment.

"He deserved so much more than what he got." Kevin mutters before wiping at a stray tear that rolled down his cheek as he stood up.

"We start at six, do what you have to do." Kevin states before leaving, closing the apartment door behind him leaving Andrew alone with his son.

Despite not wanting to, Andrew pulls himself out of bed early the next morning. He changes quickly, dresses Joseph into the warmest clothes he had and then leaves towards the stadium.

Kevin was unfortunately right, he had to keep playing exy, keep working, in order to keep raising his son comfortably. To keep raising Joseph the way Neil would have wanted.

So he pulls into the parking lot at five fifteen in the morning and pulls Joseph's carrier from it's base. He peeks under the blanket, satisfied to see his son was still sleeping soundly.

"I wasn't sure you'd show." Andrew glances up to find his adopted dad watching him, bag thrown over his shoulder.

"Can't exactly quit now can I?" David stays silent before turning towards the elevator, Andrew following behind.

They're silent in the elevator, Andrew appreciates the fact that David doesn't try to say anything, he pretends not to notice the way he peeks a look at Joseph under the blanket.

"Daycare doesn't open until the season starts, you can leave him with me." Andrew raises a brow but doesn't question it, follows David into his office to set the carrier down along with the diaper bag.

He leaves after peeking under the blanket himself, heading to change out before the locker room got to loud with the arrival of his teammates.

He's not prepared for the onslaught of emotions he feels when he enters the familiar locker room. He's not prepared to see Neil's jersey framed and hung next to the trophy case.

He's not prepared to see Neil's old locker, empty and open among the rest, his name plate no longer screwed into place.

He swallows thickly and ignores the dull pain in his chest as he crosses the room to his locker and changes quickly, slamming the locker close the moment Kevin walks in to the room. Kevin looks as if he wants to say something but luckily stays silent causing Andrew to head back towards David's office, knowing Joseph would be up soon to eat.

He finds David rocking the carrier from his spot on the floor, looking ridiculous as he does so, trying to shush Joseph as he does so.

Andrew moves to the diaper bag, grabs a bottle of water and the formula and mixing it into the bottle before placing it into the microwave. David now has Joseph in arms and is bouncing him in an attempt to keep him quiet but Joseph was getting hungrier therefore he was louder. 

Andrew checks the milk against his wrist before taking Joseph from David and positioning him in his arms. Joseph eats greedily, as if he hadn't woke Andrew up at two in the morning less than four hours ago.

Andrew keeps his eyes on Joseph, looking up only when the door opens and Nicky walks in.

"I thought I heard something adorable." Nicky states as he steps closer.

"Can I?" Andrew passes Joseph over gently, trusting his cousin to not do anything stupid while holding his young son. Andrew ignores the misty eyed look in his cousins eyes, looks away when he feels the stinging in his own.

Andrew ignores the looks he gets as he joins his team on the court, he pretends he doesn't hear the hushed whispers or see the pitiful glances thrown his way. He pretends that he doesn't miss Neil.

Andrew pretends not to miss the fiery redhead every day.

He doesn't do a double take every time he sees a similar shade of hair, he doesn't slip into easy German conversation waiting for a reply, he doesn't reach an arm out every morning in search of the warm body, he doesn't call the same number to hear the same voicemail message every day until the line is cut off.

Joseph grows, because the time passes even if Andrew doesn't want it to, and Andrew tries, he tries to be a good dad for his son because he never had one of his own. Andrew tries to be a father because that's what Neil would do, it's what Neil would want.

Joseph is happy and bubbly and he smiles brightly in a way that reminds Andrew so much of Neil that his heart clenches every single time.

"Grandpa comin?" Joseph asks as Andrew ties his shoes.

"He's on his way already bud."

"'Cule Aaron?"

"He'll be here too."

"Kevvy?"

"Uh huh."

"Daddy Neil?" Andrew swallows dryly and glances up at his son.

"Daddy Neil is always here bud, you just can't see him." Andrew states after clearing his throat. He stands up and ruffles his sons hair, tousling red curls in the process.

The doorbell rings, echoing around the house causing Andrew to pick up Joseph and head to the door. 

"Key!" Joseph shouts happily, he leans forward quickly, diving into Nicky's waiting arms easily while his cousin laughs.

"Hey cutie!" Nicky states as he adjust his grip on the now four year old.

"Baby!" Joseph shouts as he peeks over Nicky's shoulder. Erik smiles at the toddler and gives in to his request, lifting the blanket off the baby carrier to show the newborn baby girl. Joseph smiles and leans over as if he's trying to get a better look as Nicky walks into the house.

Andrew had decorated for the small party sparsely, put up bright streamers and blew up dozens of balloons early in the morning before Joseph woke up.

Joseph was a quiet kid, shy with new people and tends to stick by Andrew's side whenever they went out. So Andrew made sure to invite his immediate family, leaving the party on the small side, he didn't think his son would mind.

Erik was sitting on the floor next to the baby carrier as Joseph peeked in, looking at the tiny baby with open curiosity.

Erik had moved from Germany the week after Neil's death, Andrew hated it at first. Having Erik around gave Nicky more time to come around to help Andrew, help that Andrew didn't necessarily want at the time, but Nicky was persistent and stuck around. Andrew could silently admit that Nicky was a huge help at the time.

The doorbell rings once more, Joseph doesn't pay it any attention as he continues to stare at his cousin in awe. Andrew heads towards the door and finds Nicky already opening it to let his twin and Katelyn in, each with a kid in hand.

Olivia is sleeping against her dad's shoulder, oblivious to the world around her but her sister is bright eyed and staring at Andrew. She glances at her dad once in confusion before seeming to give up on solving the mystery and leaning forward, wiggling around in an attempt to be let down. 

Odette runs to join Joseph as soon as Katelyn sets her down and watches Sabine sleep for a few seconds before growing bored and heading towards the mini chalk board in the corner and starting to draw on it.

"Baby!" Joseph shouts when he spots Aaron and Katelyn as he points at the baby carrier.

"Oh, you're right Eli, that is a baby." Katelyn states with a smile as she heads over.

Kevin arrives some time later with both David and Abby in tow.

"Kevvy!" Joseph shouts as soon as he spots the striker. Kevin smiles and picks him up as Joseph barrels into him, tossing him into the air for a moment before catching him and setting him on his hip.

It took some time for Kevin to really get accustomed to Joseph, in the months following Neil's death he and Allison broke things off after he sided with Andrew when she wanted to sue for custody. Luckily Neil never filed the papers Andrew had signed and the court sided with Andrew for once in his life.

Kevin had admitted to Andrew one drunken night when he had showed up at his door that he hated looking at Joseph because he was reminded of Neil. Andrew couldn't bring himself to be mad at him because at times he felt the same way, so he guided him inside forced him to drink some coffee and some leftover pizza and then left him in the guest room.

Kevin hated any reminder of the accident and had once snapped out of his TV persona when a reporter made the mistake of bringing it up years later. It took some time but eventually Kevin could look at Joseph without flinching and pick him up whenever Joseph demanded it.

"You're getting too big now kid."

"Nu uh."

"Uh huh, soon you'll be as big as your dad." Kevin states causing Nicky to laugh.

"With his parentage I highly doubt it." He states, Andrew throws a water bottle his way but Nicky doesn't seem to mind as he dodges it and laughs brightly.

"Come on children, Uncle Drew got a bouncy house!" Joseph and Odette both scramble to follow Nicky outside where there was indeed a bouncy house filled with plastic balls.   
Renee shows up solo half an hour later, the party is small but Joseph smiles and laughs the whole time so Andrew considers it a win. 

Joseph gets more gifts than an four year old needs, even though Andrew had warned the group to not go overboard. Abby had stitched together a bunch of Neil's old shirts into a large quilt, Andrew wanted to hate it, he had vivid memories of Neil in every shirt Abby had gathered but once Joseph had learned it had come from Daddy Neil he had gripped it in his arms and not let go.

"He would've loved Neil." Aaron mutters as they watch Abby wrap Joseph in the large quilt while he giggles the entire time.

"He still does." Andrew states.

The group start to leave once the kids start to doze off and once everyone is gone Andrew tucks Joseph into bed, draping his new quilt over him at his request.

"Daddy Neil happy?" Joseph asks when Andrew stands to leave. Andrew stops and wonders what brought on the thought before he sits back down on the edge of his sons bed.

"I'm sure he is Bean." His son frowns and wiggles around until his hands are over the covers and he's looking up at Andrew.

"He not happy here? That why he leave?" Andrew curses his sons bright mind and goes over possible scenarios before sighing glancing quickly at the team photo on his sons nightstand before glancing back at Joseph.

"He was happy, but sometimes things happen and we don't get to decide if we can stay or if we have to go."

"He didn' wanna leave me?"

"No Bean, he didn't." Joseph nods finally seeming content with the answers and snuggled back under the blankets.

"Night night Dada."

"Goodnight Bean." Andrew flicks on the night light and leaves the room pausing outside the room and taking a deep breath.

He knew Joseph would ask about Neil eventually, knew that with all the amount of times their family brought them up his son was bound to get curious and ask questions. He had only hoped Joseph wouldn't start asking until he was older but Joseph was Neil's kid and bound to ask Andrew surprising questions.

Andrew heads to his room and quickly showers before heading to bed.

He dreams of Neil that night, dreams of himself in a field of tall grass with Neil laying at his side.

"Hey." Neil says with a smile.

"Neil." Andrew states is lieu of a reply reaching forward to touch him. Neil smiles brightly and leans into the touch.

"He's beautiful Andrew." Neil tells him, Andrew's brows furrow before he realizes Neil's talking about Joseph.

"This is a dream." He states causing Neil to shrug.

"Sure, if that's what you want it to be."

"You're not real." Andrew mutters.

"Well not anymore." Neil laughs but Andrew simply studies him, engraving every detail to memory.

"You're dead." Andrew states.

"I know."

"Fuck you." Andrew mutters which earns him a small quirk of the lips.

"Yeah, you're doing great for what it's worth. He's perfect." Neil tells him.

"It would of been better if you were here." Neil smiles and nods.

"I know, I'm sorry but you'll both be fine, I know it."

"It's not fair."

"Life rarely is." They stay silent, Andrew watching Neil and Neil watching Andrew until Neil closes his eyes.

"I have to go soon, I love you Andrew, and I love Joseph, and I wish I could have stayed behind with you two but I couldn't. Just be happy alright?"

"I'm sorry, for everything, I love you too." Andrew says, Neil grins just as Andrew bolts awake in bed, heart racing as he looks around the room. He gets up and leaves the room, checking to make sure Joseph is okay and breathing easier once he see's his son sleeping soundly.

Andrew checks the time and figures he'd get a head start on the day, he feels weirdly settled after his dream. They'd be okay, Andrew knows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I teared up writing this, sorry for the late uploads and for being so inconsistent. I have another What If Scenario in mind so let me know what type of one shots you want to read in this universe. Also sorry for the ending I couldn't find a good way to wrap it up. I also tried to be as childlike for Joseph's vocab but I doubt I got it right.


	4. Bean Had Died.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance guys, this one hurts.

Andrew looks up when he hears someone approach, swallows down the knot in his throat when he sees the look on his brother's face.

"How are they?" Abby asks quickly, Aaron hesitates a seconds before straightening up slightly.

"Neil should be waking up soon, he's a little banged up but he'll be okay."

"And the baby?"

"We did everything we could." Aaron states with tired eyes. Abby lets out a cry instantly while Kevin takes a seat but Andrew keeps his eyes on Aaron.

"The placenta detached during the accident, by the time we reached him he'd already lost too much oxygen. There was nothing we could do." Aaron's voice was steady, almost shockingly calm as if he hadn't just broke down Andrew's entire world.

"He?" Andrew didn't realize he'd spoken until Aaron's eyes snapped his way.

"He." Aaron confirmed, Andrew took a shaky breath before he turned around, walking out of the hospital and towards his car while ignoring whoever called his name.

His fingers shake as he tries to light his cigarette, it takes him a few tries but he soon has it lit and is taking a drag, ignoring the ache in his chest and burning of his eyes.

Neil woke up dazed, trying to figure out his surroundings as he looked around the room. Allison sat in a chair by the window, looking withdrawn despite her perfect hair and makeup.

"Alli?" Her eyes snapped his way and for a second Neil see's tears in her eyes before she blinks them away and moves his way.

"Where am I?"

"Hospital, you and Kevin were in an accident remember?" Her words spark his memory and he can vividly remember the sound of tires screeching and a loud crash. He glances down, before looking back at Allison who's eyes were shining once again.

"Alli, where's Bean?" Allison closes her eyes causing some tears to roll down her cheeks and Neil's anxiety to spike.

"Allison where is my son?" 

"I'm so sorry." She states as she reaches his way. His vision blurs as he smacks her arm away.

"No, no, Alli where is he?"

"They couldn't save him." Neil can feel himself crying but his mind was wrapping itself around the thought. He was reaching for his IV before Allison could stop him, ripping them out harshly as he moved to stand.

"Neil!"

"No, he can't be de-. He's too young Allison!" His friend catches him before he hits the floor, unsteady legs unable to hold up his weight.

"No, tell me you're lying, please, just bring me my son. I want to see my son!" Neil tries to push her away but by now there's a group of nurses in the room and there's a pinch in his neck while the world starts to fade away.

Neil wishes he could of stayed asleep, wishes he didn't have to wake up and face the world again, but he wakes to spot Andrew taking Allison's spot.

"Why are you here?" He asks. Andrew looks his way but stays silent and returns to looking out the window instead.

"You didn't even want him." Neil reminds him. Andrew lets out a slow breath.

"You didn't want him and now he's dead." Andrew flinches at the words but Neil doesn't care, he turns away from the man and reaches for the Nurse button.

"Get out."

"Neil."

"Get out Andrew."

"Neil."

"Get out!" The nurse walks in at that moment, looks in between the two before heading to Neil's side.

"Do you need something Mr. Josten?" She asks softly.

"I want him gone, he'd detrimental to my health." Andrew stares at him for a few seconds before standing up and leaving the room.

"Anything else Mr. Josten?" The nurse asks after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Some release forms, I want to go home."

"You've just had surgery sir, it's not recommended."

"I'll sign a waiver." Neil mutters, the nurse nods and leaves while Neil states at the space Andrew had just vacated.

It takes a few moments for the hospital door to open causing Neil to glance over. Aaron closes the door behind him gently and steps closer with a frown.

"You just had a C-section Neil, we don't recommend you leave."

"I told your nurse I'd sign a waiver." Aaron sighs but nods.

"Did you even try to save him?" Neil asks before he can stop himself, looking up at Aaron.

"It was too late Neil." Aaron states. Neil blinks away the tears, ignores the hollow feeling in his chest and nods.

"The papers please." Aaron steps forward, handing him the clipboard he had in hand and Neil signs without reading any of the papers. Aaron doesn't say anything when Neil hands him back the clipboard simply nods and moves to leave before Neil calls his name causing him to stop.

"You can't tell them right? Patient - Doctor bull crap right?" Aaron nods before clearing his throat.

"The nurse will come in to disconnect the IV." Aaron mutters before he leaves. Soon enough the same nurse is back, with a pair of bland clothing and his bag of belongings. She disconnects the IV and the rest of the machines before smiling sadly at him.

"You'll be okay sweetheart." Neil bites down his response and nods. He ignores the ache coming from his side, make it down to the elevator and his the button for the first floor with only his bloody clothes in hand.

He doesn't remember the cab ride home, barely registers the fact that he's packing a bag until he had his passport in hand. He chokes on a sob and lets his eyes close, tears falling from his eyes. Neil swallows down the pain and stands slowly, moving to change out of the sterile clothes he was in.

Neil hesitates at the door to the nursery but pushes it open and walks towards the small white stuffed fox that he had bought the first time he stumbled upon a baby store.

Neil glances around the room, it seemed dull now, no longer held the same spark in once did but Neil ignores that and grabs his suitcase, fox held tightly in his hands and heads down to hail a cab.

He didn't mean to buy a ticket to Europe, but he's soon standing in front of the international terminal. Neil lets out a shaky breath when he's told to set down his phone and stuffed fox but he does as told and hurries across the metal detector. 

He sits in the hard plastic chair in the waiting area listening out for his flight number when he pulls out his phone, ignoring the unanswered texts and dials the familiar number.

"Neil? Where are you? Come on, I'll pick you up just- Fuck, I'm so sorry." Kevin goes quiet, the sound of his cries filling the line as Neil closes his eyes.

"It's not your fault Kev." Neil mutters softly before opening his eyes, glancing out at the airport runway and the multiple planes taking off.

"Neil-"

"You didn't run the light Kev." He states cutting off whatever his friend was about to tell him.

"Where are you?" 

"Airport."

"Neil-"

"I can't stay here Kev, I- fuck Kev, I really can't."

"I know." His flight number is called out loudly and Neil sucks in a shaky breath.

"Make sure he gets a nice resting place Kev."

"Call me when you get where you're going." Kevin states. Neil hangs up and powers off his phone before heading to the correct terminal, stepping through the gates without looking back.

Andrew was going to go insane, he was sure of it, his son was dead, Neil was missing and he was going to go insane.

"We'll find him." Nicky states with teary eyes and a wobbly smile. Andrew's hands tighten on the steering wheel as he continues to drive around, hoping to catch a glimpse of his blue eyed red head.

His phone rings and he picks it up without glancing down.

"Come home." Wymack states, sounding tired and defeated.

"Is he there?"

"No."

"Then no."

"Andrew, you're not going to find him." He sounds so sure and it makes Andrew pause while Nicky sucks in a breath.

"David-"

"He left Andrew, we're not sure where." Andrew's chest feels tight but he clenches his jaw and disconnects the line, turning his car around in an illegal turn and driving back to his parents place.

Wymack somehow looks older when he opens the door but Andrew's eyes settle on Kevin who sits on top of the counter with a glass of what looks to be whiskey in his hand.

"Where is he?"

"He called me from the airport." Kevin states, his eyes are bloodshot and his hair is messy but he finished the glass in one drink and stares Andrew down.

"I told you this would end badly." Andrew moves quickly, pulling his adopted brother off the counter and onto the floor in a matter of seconds.

"Fuck you, it's your fucking fault he's dead." Andrew snaps ignoring Wymack who yells at him and pulls at his shoulders.

"It's your fucking fault we're in this situation in the first place! You couldn't once admit you were wrong could you? You just had to keep pushing them away and look at where that got you Andrew! Bean's dead and Neil's gone because you didn't want to admit you cared about someone for once in your fucking life!" Kevin head whips to the side with the force of the punch but he simply laughs as Andrew gets pulled back, his twin and cousin stepping in between the two.

"Knock it off, this isn't helping anyone." Wymack snaps. Aaron is frowning despite his bruised cheek, a result of Andrew finding out he had prior knowledge of Neil's sudden departure from the Hospital.

"Fuck you for thinking I never cared about them." Andrew mutters before shaking out of Wymack's hold and walking out the front door.

Andrew and Kevin ignore each other like the plague, it makes summer practice tense but no one questions the sudden tension or Neil's disappearance. The team finds out about Bean but luckily stay silent, the paparazzi luckily never found out about Neil's pregnancy and it only took a few strings to pull for the accident reports to never mention Bean.

The season starts back up, Andrew is sitting on his parents couch when they announce the starting line up for the New York Shields, Neil Josten's name being called along with the rest of the teams. He glances towards Wymack who won't meet his eyes and suddenly understands why Kevin had bothered to show up for Family Dinner for the first time since the accident.

He ignores the ache in his chest as he watches Neil take his place on the court. He can't make out what Jean Moreau shouts his way the second before the buzzer goes off but

Neil smiles and takes off the moment the buzzer sounds.

Andrew watches Neil take down the court and can't help but feel the pang in his chest at the familiar sight. Kevin and Wymack are watching with rapt attention, Kevin is chewing on his fingernails nervously as if waiting for the ball to drop and Neil to mess up.

"When?"

"He requested the transfer last month." Wymack tells Andrew who keeps his eyes on the TV just as Neil scores the goal going red. Andrew stands up and heads outside, pulling his cigarettes out of his pocket and lighting one up.

"He's doing pretty well, considering everything." Nicky states from behind him. Andrew glances at him, watching as his cousin attempts to smile.

"Good, he deserves it." Nicky's smile drops and he stays silent while Andrew continues to smoke his cigarette.

The Palmetto Foxes and the New York Shields don't end up playing against each other until the end of the season, and it sparks the Minyard-Josten Rivalry which is plastered all over the news.

Andrew thinks it's all Neil's fault. Despite the fact that he's a starting striker he doesn't join the team on the field for warm ups or join the team for the line up. Neil also sits on the bench for most of the game, never stepping foot on court when Andrew is in the goal.

Andrew watches him play from the bench, when the buzzer goes off for half time he watches as half the team go up to say hello to the striker ignoring the ache in his chest at the sight of Neil's smile and ignoring the way Jean hoovers behind him protectively the entire time.

Neil doesn't join the team for the line up after the game, disappearing from the bench towards the end of the game.

The next morning the headlines all point to a rivalry and how much the two must hate each other, Andrew thinks that for once they probably got Neil's thought down to the T.

By the following year Neil and Jean had confirmed their relationship after a few picture of the two kissing surfaced. Kevin had tweeted out his support and happiness for the couple which led to some awkward family dinners at Abby's place.

Andrew does not have have Google notifications on Neil, he doesn't log into Instagram every now and then to see new updates from his ex. Andrew watches with every update as Neil's smile grows and the light returns to his eyes in a way that causes a weird pang in his chest.

Another year passes and Andrew watches Neil live his best life away from him, the way Andrew always knew he would.

Nicky gets married almost three years after Neil skipped town, three years after Andrew lost both his son and the best thing that ever happened to him in one swoop.

Andrew has to sit through a long wedding ceremony next to Kevin, his brother and his cousin before struggling through another two long hours of photos before they get to the venue.

Half an hour later Neil and Jean walk through the door, Andrew's jaw clenches at the sight of the band on Neil's wedding finger but he looks away and downs the rest of his Whiskey pretending he never saw them.

He ignores most of the people who come up to congratulate him on his cousins wedding, sits in the table at the back with a bottle of Whiskey as the party goes on.

"Hey." Andrew looks up, eyes meeting Neil's instantly and a part of him aches to reach out and touch him.

"Congratulations." Andrew mutters eyes dropping to the ring. Neil smiles but reaches up to rub the back of his neck, a sure sign of his nervousness.

"Thanks, I uh- how are you?" Andrew raises a brow causing him to sigh and take the seat across from him.

"It's nice to see you." Neil mutters.

"Don't lie Neil, it's unbecoming." Neil stays silent, glances away from Andrew and he wants nothing more than to take it back, to keep Neil's attention on him a little longer.

"The wedding's boring and Nicky choose carrot cake." Andrew states which cause Neil's lips to quirk slightly.

"Ah, Jean choose chocolate but also ordered a frozen yogurt bar so..." Andrew didn't want to hear any details of Neil's upcoming wedding but he forces down any comments he has and nods along.

"It didn't take you long to get engaged." Andew states before mentally kicking himself as Neil glances down with half a smile.

"Guess I figured there was no point in waiting this time." Neil tells him as he turns around, he follows his line of sight and finds Jean standing with Kevin and Matt, ignores the ache in his chest at Neil's words.

He knew, Andrew always knew that keeping Neil at arms length would come back to bite him in the ass. He thinks briefly about the four years of their relationship, about the times he turned away or didn't acknowledge Neil when he should of.

"You're happy with him." Neil glances back and nods.

"Yeah, I am."

"Good." He stands up, nods once and walks away, like he should of done the first time he ever met Neil Josten.

He at the bar waiting for a new drink when Jean steps up beside him. He ignores him until the French man clears his throat.

"Neil's told me about you." 

"Ah, yes, he tell me how much he hates me."

"He told me how much he loved you, and about Bean."

"Don't." Andrew snaps.

"Look, I know your probably hate me but you helped me get him back so thank you."

"Is that supposed to make me want to punch you less because it's not working."

"Just move on, for everyone's sake." Andrew stays silent as he watches Jean walk towards Neil who was ready to go with his jacket in hand. Jean grabs a hold of his outstretched hand and Neil glances towards his fiance with the smile that used to be reserved for Andrew before they walk away.


	5. Bean Had Died Neil's P.O.V.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just the end of chapter 4 in Neil's P.O.V. because I like to hurt myself with these emotions.

Neil lands in London and calls his Uncle Stewart right away, he also sends Kevin a message letting him know he's safe before turning his phone off and clutching onto the stuffed fox tightly.

He spends two weeks with his mother's side of the family trying not to break down, ignoring the ache as he watches his cousins with their kids while he only has a stuffed toy to hold.

"It gets better." His cousin Kate tells him one afternoon as they watch her two daughters run around. Neil knew she had lost her first kid only a few weeks after he was born, know it probably wasn't easy but a selfish part of him is jealous that she ever got to know him at all when Neil never even got to hold his son.

Kate doesn't bring it up again and neither does anyone else. He gets a message from Kevin the day of the Funeral and the ache in his chest and tightness of his throat has him crawling back under the sheets and hugging the white fox tightly while he cried for his son.

Neil doesn't exactly remember the next few days, but he remembers being called into Stewart's office and looking up at Ichirou Moriyama.

"Nathaniel."

"My Lord."

"You do remember you have a debt to pay, right?" Neil stays silent until Ichirou nods.

"Do you still want to play or do you wish to take your father's place?" He asks harshly.

"I'd like to play sir."

"Good." He drops a stack of papers on the wooden desk and stands straight.

"That's a contract for the New York Shields, you're required to be at practice in two weeks." Ichirou leaves the room and Neil eyes the contract for a few seconds before reaching out for it. It required more sponsorship deals than the Foxes did but it had the same guidelines more or less, a higher salary than Neil thought he deserved.

Two weeks later he's landing at JFK airport, stuffed fox in hand, for a second he feels as empty as he was the day he left the hospital. No one at his side in an unfamiliar place but then he spots the tall man across the waiting area and it washes away.

He doesn't realize he's rushing towards him until he's throwing his arms around the taller man and inhaling the familiar scent. Jean's arms wrap around him and Neil presses his face against the Alpha's chest, willing himself not to cry.

"I got you Neil." Jean mutters lowly, Neil swallows down the knot in his throat but keeps holding onto Jean until his eyes stop burning and he feels steady again. He pulls away and together he and Jean go to grab his single suitcase before heading to the apartment building.

Neil would be living in the same apartment building as most of the players from the New York Shields. Neil knew Jean was on the team, he had signed the moment he had graduated from the Trojans, and was looking forward to playing with his friend once more.

He was also revealed to see that Jean would be his neighbor and he was the last apartment in the hall giving him some privacy. The apartment was partially furnished, it felt new and sterile and Neil hated it, the grey walls were bland compared to the ones in Neil's old place.

Neil sat on his couch and called Kevin, pulling his knees to his chest and running his fingers over the soft fur on the stuffed fox.

"Neil?"

"Hey Kev."

"Hey, how's New York? Did Jean pick you up from the airport?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, so far so good."

"That's good, maybe things will feel more normal once practice starts." Neil hums and lays his head on his knee, glancing out towards the city and watching quietly. They stay silent until Kevin sighs.

"We got an offer on the apartment." He tells Neil.

"That's good." Neil had been hoping they'd be able to sell the place, the sooner he could rid himself of any tie to Palmetto, the better.

"How are you?" Kevin asks after a few seconds. Neil sighs, closes his eyes and pushes away any thought of his son from his mind.

"I'm here aren't I?"

"Neil."

"Shitty."

"Well, I'm always here Neil and you know Jean's there for you too." Kevin states and even if Neil knows he means well, he doesn't want to hear it.

"Yeah, I got to go alright Kev? I have to go." Neil states before hanging up, not waiting for Kevin's reply.

The first week of practice with the Shields is easier than Neil thinks it would be, his new teammates don't push and are easy to work with. It's even easier to fall into routine with Jean, years of living together in the Nest and then USC made falling into routine easy.

Neil falls into routine, he wakes up early and goes on a run, joins Jean on his was way to the Court for a long practice, goes home and heads to the gym right after. He usually watches old Exy games and eats after his shower before heading to bed and starting the routine all over again the next day.

The season starts up and Neil find's it easy to forget when he's playing and has a much more packed schedule. During the season they have to shorter practices instead of the long one they had during the off season. Neil doesn't mind, it gives him less time to think when he's keeping himself busy.

He doesn't think much of it, knows he's working hard but prefers to overwork himself then to under perform. His body however doesn't agree. Neil swore he was fine but he was suddenly waking up in the medical room hooked up to an IV and he knew he'd messed up.

Jean looks up at him and stands, cracking open a new water bottle and handing it over before sitting back down.

"Over exertion." Jean states before Neil can ask.

"I don't know why you transferred or what happened in the last year Neil but this can't be worth it."

"Kevin didn't tell you?" 

"Wasn't his place." Neil swallows dryly before sighing and looking up at the older man.

"I was going to have a kid." Neil states, a look of surprise flashes over Jean's features but he quickly composes himself.

"Got into a bad car crash and he was still born, hoped on the first flight out and haven't looked back since."

"The one with Kevin?" Jean asks. Neil nods and the room is quiet until Jean stands up and moves to sit next to him, pulling him into a hug that Neil melts into.

"His name was Joseph, and I never even got to hold him Jean." Jean doesn't say anything simply tightens his hold and lets Neil cry into his chest.

"Let it out, I've got you."

"Andrew didn't want him, denied him every chance he got and I just kept waiting for him to take it all back. I kept hoping he'd show up some day begging to come back but he didn't even flinch when I asked for custody, didn't bat an eye before he signed those papers. I thought he cared, I figured it was an act but...fuck Jean he never even wanted him."

Neil cries until his eyes hurt and his head pounds and Jean stays at his side holding him together as he fell apart.

Jean didn't know Andrew very well, but he knew of his and Neil relationship despite no longer being a part of USC because Kevin was quick to call him in a panic wondering how he could discourage Neil. Jean didn't have much advice to offer his friend but he sat on the phone while Kevin ranted about how he was positive the relationship would end badly and how he though Neil deserved better.

Jean had always though Neil deserved the world, from the moment he met him already broken and bruised from his tough life at such a young age, Jean knew Neil should be protected from every being hurt again. So Jean made sure of it, he made sure to try to keep Riko's attention off the younger boy, Neil's Omega status would not bode well in the Nest. He made sure to stick with Neil through college after Riko's staged suicide and their departure from the nest.

At this moment while he held Neil close as he cried, Jean wonders if he should of helped Kevin keep Andrew and Neil apart, wonders if he could of saved Neil from some of the heartbreak he had endured during the last few years of being in whatever weird relationship he was in with Andrew.

He gets permission to leave practice with Neil, drives them back to the apartment complex and guides Neil to his apartment. The inside of the place looks very similar to how Jean's apartment looked when he first moved in, bland and cold in a way that is void of life.

"When did you last eat?" Jean asks him, Neil shrugs and kicks off his shoes, he sways slightly and Jean reaches out to steady him before guiding him to the couch.

"Chinese?" Jean asks Neil who shrugs and lays down, closing his eyes, Jean watches him for a few seconds before placing an order on Grub hub and calling Kevin.

"Jean?"

"Neil passed out at practice today." He tells him as he glances at the Omega who was curled up on the couch.

"Fuck, he okay?"

"He told me about the baby." Kevin sighs as Jean pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Your brother's an idiot."

"He's adopted." Jean rolls his eyes and looks up at Neil once more.

"He's spirling." Jean mutters softly.

"Keep an eye on him will you? He's going to need you." Kevin states, Jean watches Neil sleep and knows Kevin's right.

Jean and Neil fall into a pattern, and Jean makes sure to keep a careful eye on Neil. Jean makes sure that Neil's eating, forces him to interact with the team more, keeps him out of his apartment so he's not holed up by himself.

Jean and Neil grow closer both on and off court but Jean is careful, making sure not to push Neil in any sort of way.

Neil starts to spiral once they learn that they would play against Palmetto towards the end of the season and Jean's there to pick him back up and hold him close when he panics at the mere thought of seeing Andrew again.

"I can't do it." Neil cries into Jean's chest as Jean rocks back and forth with Neil in his arms.

"Shh, it's okay Neil, you're going to be fine."

"I can't see him again Jean." Neil cries and Jean's heart clenches at the sight. Jean never thought he'd ever dislike someone as much as he disliked Riko but Andrew Minyard was slowly growing to the top of his list.

They play the Foxes the following week, and Jean makes sure Neil is never out on the Court at the same time as Andrew using his captaincy to his advantage.

It isn't a hard game, but Jean is more focused on making sure Neil is alright then the game itself and his lucky he has such a strong set of players at his back. When the buzzer rings signaling the end of the first half Jean watches some of Neil's old teammates rush his way.

Jean steps closer, glances at the bench to make sure Andrew is still seated before focusing back on Neil who is being hugged by a smiling Nicholas Hemmick.

"You like him." Kevin mutters from his side.

"Shut up." Jean snaps lowly earning him a smile from Kevin. 

Jean doesn't push even if he's falling for his friend once again, he accepts his place by Neil's side as his friend without much expectation. That is until Neil stands on his tip toes and kisses him firmly one day after practice.

Jean pulls back and glances down at Neil who's watching him with bright blue eyes.

"Neil?"

"I've been wanting to kiss you for a while." Neil admits, and Jean leans down to kiss him firmly back.

Jean picks him up easily taking full advantage of his height to pull the smaller Omega towards the couch. It easy to fall into a comfortable relationship with Neil, easy for him to date Neil after having such a strong connection to him.

They manage to keep their relationship under wraps for almost a whole year, only their Team and PR team knowing of the relationship until they slip up.

Jean and Neil are at a coffee shop and Jean cracks a joke that makes Neil grin and pull him into a quick kiss. The pictures are everywhere the next day and Neil hides in bed while Jean talks to their PR agents.

"Mon Cheri, it's alright, no one's mad." Jean whispers to Jean once he's off the phone.

"I fucked up."

"So what? Who cares if the world knows I'm in love with a terror like you." Neil laughs and turns to Jean who smiles his way.

"Andrew would of hated this." Jeans heart lurches and he sighs, silently cursing the man for hurting Neil in a way that still haunted him, before pulling Neil into his arms.

"I love you, I don't care if the world knows about that and I promise you I'm not mad." Neil nods and smiles.

"Je t'aime." Neil tells him with a grin causing Jean to lean down, kissing him firmly until his phone rings causing him to pull back and reach for it while Neil groans and throws his am around the French man's neck.

"Hello?"

"You two are together and never told me?" Kevin asks loudly through the line, Jean sighs and presses his forehead against Neil's and placing the phone against the Omega's ear.

"Hey Kev." Neil mutters. Jean smiles and hides his face in the crooks of Neil's neck, careful to not lay his full weight on Neil and relishes in the feel of Neil against him.

The teams PR confirms their relationship the next day with several people coming out in support of the two. 

The next two years are better than Neil ever thought they'd be. He moves in with Jean to a larger townhouse closer to the stadium and Jean surprises him by proposing to him and Neil accepts without a second thought.

Nicky's wedding approaches quickly and Neil's anxiety spikes at the thought of being back in Palmetto in a room with Andrew. Jean squeezes his hand and kisses his forehead before they walk through the doors. They sit at the table with some of their old college teammates who all congratulate them on their engagement. 

It takes some time before Neil leans forward to kiss Jean and stands up walking towards the blond Alpha who's sitting alone at a far back table. Jean keeps an eye on them not entirely trusting of the Alpha.

When Neil finishes talking to Andrew, Jean takes a chance to talk to Andrew before he and Neil leave.

"Okay?" Jean asks his fiance.

"Okay." Neil mutters with a smile.

"Je t'aime mon coeur."

"De retour a vous cheri." Jean kisses Neil firmly before they drive away, leaving Palmetto behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andrew is seen as a bit of an asshole here but it mostly stems from Neil's heartbreak and Jean's protectiveness of Neil. I also used google translate for the French so please let me know if it's wrong. I have some more light hearted fics coming up.  
> Mon Cheri = Honey  
> Je t'aime = I love you  
> Je t'aime mon coeur = I love you sweetheart  
> De retour a vous cheri = Right back at you darling


	6. Bean Starts to Walk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much the chapter title, with a bit of Moriyama and Kevin Day in the mix,

"Come here Bean, c'mon you can do it sweetheart." Neil urges his son who looks at him with bright confused eyes.

"Neil, he's too young." Andrew states lowly as he watches the scene in amusement.

"He was trying to walk the other day Drew, I swear he'll be walking soon." Neil tells the Alpha who rolls his eyes. Joseph sits on the floor a few feet away from Neil sucking on his fist in a way that really shouldn't be so adorable.

Their son is only ten months old but Neil keeps swearing that he'd start walking soon. Andrew watches as Neil keeps trying to urge Joseph to move, moving the stuffed fox around the air in an attempt to catch his sons attention.

Andrew sighs and sits behind the Omega, wrapping an arm around his thin waist and laying his head on the mans shoulder.

"He's still pretty young bunny." He mutters softly, smirking at the blush the rises on his boyfriends cheeks. Bunny was a newer nickname for Neil, spurring from his original Rabbit nickname, and Neil would blush every single time Andrew would call him that.

"He was trying to walk Drew, I know it." Neil pouts despite the blush on his cheeks and he really shouldn't be so attractive but Andrew was never surprised by Neil's attractiveness anymore.

Andrew kisses Neil's shoulder once before standing up and walking over to pick up his son earning him an annoyed yelp from Neil.

"Drew." He whines as Andrew smirks and adjust his grip on his son, kissing his forehead as he heads to the kitchen to grab him some food.

Neil follows after some time, and grabs some food as Andrew sits his son down in the highchair. Andrew takes the yogurt cup from Neil and starts to feed Joseph as Neil starts to load the dishwasher, getting slightly distracted when Neil bends down to place plates on the lower rack.

Joseph doesn't seem to like that, or perhaps his dislikes the lack of food, and lets out a loud scream to gain his dad's attention.

"Jeez kid, you got your father's lungs." Neil kicks him in retaliation while Andrew smirks and brings the spoon of yogurt to Joseph's mouth. 

As Neil finishes loading the dishwasher the doorbell rings causing Andrew to glance up and immediately hand the yogurt cup over to the younger Omega, protective instincts on overdrive. Neil doesn't question him as he takes the cup and smiles at their son, but the slight shift in his stance is enough to tell he's ready to spring into action if needed.

Andrew looks through the peep hole and sighs when he spots the blonde on the other side, opening the door with a glare.

"How many times have we told you to call before showing up?" He asks Allison who shrugs and pushes past him with Nicky and Kevin in tow.

"Stop being so paranoid Andrew." Allison mutters as she drops her expensive bag on the table and walks over to Neil and Joseph.

"Kinda hard to when the man responsible for Neil's life hasn't even acknowledged Joseph's existence." Andrew snaps at her, her brows furrow but she doesn't respond she instead drops a kiss on Joseph's forehead and ruffles Neil's hair.

"Ichirou hasn't contacted you two yet?" Kevin asks with furrowed brows earning him an annoyed look from Andrew.

"No."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Nicky asks softly.

"I don't know." Andrew mutters as he turns to watch Neil pick Joseph into his arms and hand him over to Allison who was smiling brightly. Neil starts to clean up as Allison grins and heads to the couch talking to Joseph in the baby voice that was once reserved only for her purse dog.

Nicky joins her quickly while Andrew heads towards the kitchen with Kevin in tow.

"You guys don't think he'd hurt Bean do you?" Kevin asks the two parents. Neil stiffens at the words as Andrew shoots Kevin a pointed glare.

"The Mob Boss who stood by and watched us get tortured by his psychotic brother? No, not at all Kevin." Neil snaps, Andrew steps towards his partner and pulls him closer, relaxing slightly when Neil slouches against him.

"Maybe he just doesn't care, I mean you're back on the court, a little slower than usual but-"

"Kevin." Andrew snaps at him when he hears Neil suck in a breath.

"I'll be in the living room." Kevin states before scurrying away while Andrew turns Neil around to face him.

"What if he does come after Joseph?" Neil asks lowly, eyes wet as he looks at Andrew.

"Drew, what if I fuck up and he comes after our son." Andrew cups Neil's face softly and looks him straight in the eye.

"Hey, he'll have to get through me to even try to touch him alright? I'll rip out his throat before he ever hurts Joseph or you." Andrew states firmly. Neil sighs and lays his head against Andrew's shoulder while Andrew wraps an arm around him and pulls him closer.

It takes some time for Neil to fully relax, pulling away from Andrew's embrace and smiling wobbly at him. Andrew kisses his forehead before squeezing Neil's arms and stepping back. Neil stops him before he can leave, kissing him firmly before motioning towards the living room. 

Andrew leaves to give him some time to gather his thoughts, heading to the living room, smacking the back of Kevin's head in the process.

"What was that for?" Kevin asks.

"You know what that was for." Andrew snaps as he takes Joseph from Nicky, his sons hands had reached for him the second he spotted him and Andrew tried not to be smug about it.

"What are you guys even doing here anyway?" Andrew asks as he sits down on the couch, Joseph in his lap biting down on the cold teething ring while he talks nonsense.

"Joseph's birthday in two months!" Nicky shouts happily.

"Agh!" Joseph mimics in delight, Andrew hides him smile in his sons curly hair.

"Isn't that far away?" Neil asks as he walks their way. Joseph lets out another shriek at the sight of his dad and waves his arms happily but makes no move to launch himself into his arms as Neil drops down to sit on the floor in front of him.

"There's a lot to plan Neil! It's Eli's first birthday!" Nicky states with a grin.

"Joseph." Allison reminds him but Nicky waves her off as he wiggles forward.

"So, I'm thinking we get a taco man and set up a bounce house, a tiny one, and then we need to get a clown-"

"No." Everyone states causing Nicky to frown.

"But everyone likes clowns." Nicky mumbles.

"No." Andrew states firmly. Nicky frowns while Joseph babbles something incoherent.

"Joseph agrees." Andrew states before Nicky can say anything else.

"Fine, but I want a taco man." Nicky mumbles. Neil snorts at Nicky's words while Joseph continues to babble around his teething ring.

"Did you guys really come here just to talk about a birthday party?" Neil asks somehow dodging the teething ring that goes flying when it slips Joseph's grasp.

"Yes." Allison and Nicky state while Neil rolls his eyes and hands his son the stuffed white fox he'd bought when he first stumbled across a baby store. Joseph happily takes it, hugging it tightly while Neil smiles.

Allison and Nicky dive into party planning while Neil listens halfheartedly smiling, nodding along as they showed him pictures and gave him ideas. 

Andrew and Kevin are silent observers who keep Joseph entertained until Neil gets roped into Exy talk while Allison and Nicky continue to plan not seeming to mind that Neil has left the conversation.

"We just need to work on some passes." Kevin states. Neil nods along while Andrew continues to keep Joseph entertained, standing him up by the coffee table and hovering as Joseph moves around the table.

Neil had only been back on the court for a few months, having gave birth towards the end of August he had missed most of the Summer practice and needed almost two months before he was even allowed to do basic workouts. By the end of November he was allowed to start conditioning and back on court before the season started back up in the beginning of January.

Neil had only been playing for five months but it was now June, Summer practice was about to begin and Neil was ready to jump back into full Exy junkie mood.

"We should really get back to calorie counting too." Kevin tells Neil who raises a brow as Andrew glances up.

"Ouch." Neil mutters with a frown. 

"I'm just saying it's been almost a year Neil." Nicky coughs but Kevin doesn't seem to catch on.

"I had a kid." Neil mutters.

"Ten months ago." Kevin states earning him a pointed glare from Andrew. 

Neil had lost most of the baby weight, but realistically he would never be in the same shape he was in before having Joseph. Andrew didn't mind, he didn't think Neil did either, the only places you could tell the difference in were his ass and thighs and Andrew wasn't going to complain.

"I think now's a good time to be heading out." Allison mutters as she stands up and pulls on Nicky's jacket sleeve. Kevin gets pulled to his feet while Andrew watches as the three say their goodbyes before they leave.

"I'm only about fifteen pounds over my pre-baby weight." Neil states with a frown, after a few seconds. Andrew rolls his eyes and pulls Neil forward by the front of his shirt, kissing him firmly in lieu of reply.

"You look fine." Andrew states earning him a frown.

"Fine?"

"I can show you how fine once Joseph goes down to sleep." Neil raises a brow and turns towards where Joseph was before freezing.

"Drew." He gasps out causing Andrew to turn quickly, expecting to see Joseph hurt but instead finds him on his feet a few inches away from the table.

"Holy shit." Andrew curses as Neil moves to grab his cellphone, opening the camera up quickly.

"Come on bud, you can do this Bean." Neil urges. Joseph takes a hesitant step forward, falters slightly with a sway but somehow manages to balance himself quickly.

"Come here Joe, you can do it." Andrew states as he holds his hands out. Joseph lets out a yell and takes another step forward while Neil films with a proud smile.

Joseph takes more flimsy Bambi steps forward crossing towards his parents while babbling lowly until he trips over clumsy feet. Andrew catches him easily, pulling him into his arms with a rare smile on his face.

"You're full of surprises aren't you Bean?" Joseph shrieks loudly in his ear but Andrew doesn't care at the moment.

"Told you he would walk soon." Neil states happily. Andrew rolls his eyes and pulls him forward, kissing him once more while Neil smiled.

"I love you." Andrew mutter softly as Joseph curls forward seemingly tired from his walk.

"I love you." Neil states back while Joseph lets out a tired whine causing Neil to take him from Andrew's arms.

"I'm going to put him down."

"I'll be here." Neil smirks but kisses him quickly before disappearing down the hall towards Joseph's room. Andrew takes Neil's phone and makes sure to send himself the video of Joseph's flirts steps before following after Neil, ready for Joseph to fall to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada, here's a lighthearted one shot. Andrew's a sap and likes to use innuendos, I don't make the rules. Agh I love them, I really want to do a whole other A/B/O AU that's a bit more angsty, involving Riko and Nathan so lmk if you guys would be interested and what else you'd like to see in this AU.

**Author's Note:**

> More to come for this What If along with another few which are in the works along with some short snippets of Andrew, Neil and Bean's life.


End file.
